Marriage: Saving the Family

When it comes to marriage and family, there are three super important elements that are critical in making a partnership/team work effectively. First, a solid foundation needs to be made within the partnership of a marriage. Second, limits should be set both between the parents and for the children. Lastly, all members of the family should have an equal opportunity to work together to solve problems and make decisions in a family council.  The Importance of Partnership in Marriage Parents should make decisions regarding parenting together. If contradictions arise, they should have a meeting about what should be resolved in order to make their parenting more consistent. If this isn't done properly, parents could demean each other's efforts in setting limits for each other, and for their children.  "In the marriage companionship, there is neither inferiority nor superiority. The woman does not walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman....

Sex isn't wrong; it never was. It has forever been intended for a holy purpose after marriage. It is intended for a man and a woman within the institution of marriage. Through healthy sexual relationships, a man and a woman can come closer together emotionally and physically. This closeness cannot be achieved any other way. President Lee's (2000) counsel around sexual impulses is that they are “holy impulses for a holy purpose,” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, p. 112). Sex isn't a sin as long as it's within the bonds of matrimony. Brotherson's (2003) "Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage" explains this concept well. "I had been reading a book on intimacy in marriage, and I'd asked what that experience was really supposed to be like. My mother laughed and said that sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was comforting, sometimes it was romantic, sometimes it was spiritual, and sometimes it was just a willingness to love" (p. 1). ...

When dealing with perpetual problems in a marriage, gridlock will eventually be achieved unless each person's dreams are fully realized. In Dr. John Gottman's The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, he explains that gridlocks are caused by conflicting dreams.  Not every marriage encounters gridlocks, but it's extremely likely when personalities contradict one another. Dr. John Gottman gives four qualifiers to whether a gridlock has been encountered: 1. "You've had the same argument again and again with no resolution" 2. "Neither of you can address the issue with humor, empathy, or affection"  3. "The issue is becoming increasingly polarizing as time goes on" 4. "Compromise seems impossible because it would mean selling out" It seems hopeless when gridlock in a relationship has been achieved, but Dr. Gottman reminds us that "you don't have to solve the problem to get past gridlock" (p. 237). The ...

In every marriage, there is an undeniable need for compromise. It doesn't matter if you're white, gay, straight, black, or even blue, your partner isn't YOU! Since you aren't the same person, that means that you guys are eventually going to come across a problem that you need to compromise on. One of the main characteristics of failing marriages includes a lack of influence from either partner or rather, a lack of compromise. To test out my own willingness toward compromise, my husband and I took an exercise from Dr. John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  We played the Gottman Island Survival game (p. 133-136). The game forces you to choose ten items from a list of a ship's inventory to survive with on a deserted island. The ten items you choose and then ten items your spouse choose will inevitably be different, and so the game allows you to see things from your partner's perspective, and come up with a combined list of 10...

A large misconception upon entering marriage is the belief that getting married will solve all of a person's problems. This belief is unequivocally false, as seen by many divorced couples, or even happily married couples. Marriage isn't for the selfish; it's for the selfless. Goddard, in "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage," explains that “love requires sacrificing oneself or making oneself unhappy or doing things that do not (at least eventually) serve one's individual best interests” (Goddard, p. 70). Even though some problems could be solved by having a partner to help you through it, it doesn't mean that this kind of partnership can come automatically. Goddard adds that this kind of attitude, “assumes that my needs are to be met-and my spouse must do whatever is necessary to assure that they are met” (Goddard, p. 69). This couldn't be further from the truth. We should want, first and foremost, for our spouses to be happy above ourselves. In h...