Marriage: Saving the Family

In Dr. Haim G. Ginott's book, Between Parent and Child , he reminds us that "there's no right way to do a wrong thing" (p. 58). While discussing the impact of self-defeating behaviors, Dr. Ginott demonstrates the importance of careful and critical parenting. Threats It's hard (if not impossible) not to think of elephants when someone threatens you to stop thinking of elephants. We're inviting our kids to break the rules and test contingencies when we give them threats. Warnings are possibly the worst thing you can do for your kid. Warnings of consequences are easily ignored and almost ensures that unwanted behavior will ensue. A better alternative to offering threats is to offer alternatives. It's a lot easier to think about something else when we are encouraged to do so. Introducing an incompatible behavior than the undesired behavior will irradicate the need for threats. If our kid is rewarded for thinking about anything but elephants, and we encour...

As a parent, we have to be flexible. It's one of the things that separates us from everyone else. We know our kids better than anyone else does. That makes us qualified and required to, adjust our parenting to fit them best. In Laurence Steinberg's book, The Ten Principles of Good Parenting ,  he talks about five ways we can adapt our parenting for our kids. Keeping Pace With Your Child's Development Just as we are always changing and evolving, our kids are growing up and maturing. They may need one style of parenting today, and a different one tomorrow. They don't want us to treat them the same every day. It's no fun to always be treated like a toddler. When we keep pace with our child's development, we are respecting their growth. They are growing, and as a result, deserve a different form of parenting. We all grow out of sticker-charts for potty training eventually. New problems arise every day, and our kids need our help to navigate through them. It...

In order to make any kind of impact in our children's lives, there are certain foundations that we have to create to be successful. The Parenting Pyramid , created by the Arbinger Company, demonstrates this principle. Those foundations are our personal way of being, our relationship with our spouse, our relationship with our children, and lastly our teaching and corrections. Personal Way of Being Children watch. They listen. They internalize . The way we treat ourselves is of the utmost importance. If we beat ourselves up after we make a mistake, they may be scared to come to us when they make a mistake. By being forgiving, especially of ourselves, we are creating an atmosphere of trust. As parents, we are setting an example for our children. Though they might not admit it at times, children are following in our footsteps every day. Corrections and teachings will not work if it is founded upon a lie. As parents and teachers, we must practice what we preach. By being conf...