The Dynamics of a Good Parent
As a parent, we have to be flexible. It's one of the things that separates us from everyone else. We know our kids better than anyone else does. That makes us qualified and required to, adjust our parenting to fit them best. In Laurence Steinberg's book, The Ten Principles of Good Parenting, he talks about five ways we can adapt our parenting for our kids.
Keeping Pace With Your Child's Development
Just as we are always changing and evolving, our kids are growing up and maturing. They may need one style of parenting today, and a different one tomorrow. They don't want us to treat them the same every day. It's no fun to always be treated like a toddler.
When we keep pace with our child's development, we are respecting their growth. They are growing, and as a result, deserve a different form of parenting. We all grow out of sticker-charts for potty training eventually. New problems arise every day, and our kids need our help to navigate through them. It's our responsibility to keep up!
It's just silly to think that they'll stay the same forever! What if we never adapted our parenting style to fit their development?
Adjust Your Parenting to Fit Your Child's Temperament
Some kids learn slower than others. Others are fast learners. Some like to read, and others loathe it. We know our children better than anyone. Parenting isn't some kind of one-size-fits-all technique. It's flexible. It's adaptable based on temperament and uniqueness. What works for a fast learner may not work for a slow learner.
We should give our kids what we know they can handle, and we help them get to the point they need to. Just because one of our kids may need a little more attention than the others, doesn't mean that they're needy. Some may require more hands-on help. Others may require more independence. In general, development moves a little differently for kids depending on their temperament.
Your Child is Unique
Children are unique. They deserve a unique parenting style. Just as temperament can differ from child to child, the qualities a child possesses as well as their experiences are meant to vary. Your daughter isn't going to have the same childhood experiences as your son. Times are different, as well as gender, and many other influences.
Aside from gender, children's unique needs could be based on disabilities and/or exceptionalities. Perhaps your kid is a gifted reader. Adapting parenting to foster an environment for building that skill is essential for them to thrive. Perhaps your kid has special needs or anxiety problems. This may require fostering a calm environment, or avoiding environments that are inherently stressful.
Having Patience in Developmental Transitions
We're all very aware of the terrible toddlers and the moody teens, but we're a little less aware of the pain that they're enduring at the time of those outbursts. Development occurs in spurts, meaning that there are periods of quick changes. This can cause a lot of stress. Just as you think your kid is maturing, they may surprise you with a burst of immaturity. Development is like a roller coaster. There are ups and downs all along the journey.
By making an effort to be extra flexible and understanding in times of stress and spurts of development, we can be a support for our children. It is the psychological changes that occur in development that are the most sneaky. These changes are easily missed, and can easily be the most annoying of the changes. The most important thing to keep in mind within developmental transitions is that they won't last forever.
Changing Roles as a Parent
Just as our child's development is progressing, so is our role as a parent. Different things are required of us at different life stages. A lot of parents see this transition as a loss of control. Shouldn't it feel liberating? You've raised a child. You've helped them acquire independence. You can see their success through their every-day experiences!
If we maintain great relationships with our kids, even after they've left the house, we can still maintain some type of input on their actions. Through the foundation of trust that we've built, along with the evolving roles we've been able to move past, our kids should be able to trust that we are there to support, rather than restrict them.
Parenting is Dynamic
Everything about parenting is dynamic, nothing about it is static. The parent you were yesterday is completely different from the parent that you are today. Your kids require something different of you every single day. It's our responsibility to pay attention to what those needs are.
Keeping Pace With Your Child's Development
Just as we are always changing and evolving, our kids are growing up and maturing. They may need one style of parenting today, and a different one tomorrow. They don't want us to treat them the same every day. It's no fun to always be treated like a toddler.
When we keep pace with our child's development, we are respecting their growth. They are growing, and as a result, deserve a different form of parenting. We all grow out of sticker-charts for potty training eventually. New problems arise every day, and our kids need our help to navigate through them. It's our responsibility to keep up!
It's just silly to think that they'll stay the same forever! What if we never adapted our parenting style to fit their development?
Adjust Your Parenting to Fit Your Child's Temperament
Some kids learn slower than others. Others are fast learners. Some like to read, and others loathe it. We know our children better than anyone. Parenting isn't some kind of one-size-fits-all technique. It's flexible. It's adaptable based on temperament and uniqueness. What works for a fast learner may not work for a slow learner.
We should give our kids what we know they can handle, and we help them get to the point they need to. Just because one of our kids may need a little more attention than the others, doesn't mean that they're needy. Some may require more hands-on help. Others may require more independence. In general, development moves a little differently for kids depending on their temperament.
Your Child is Unique
Children are unique. They deserve a unique parenting style. Just as temperament can differ from child to child, the qualities a child possesses as well as their experiences are meant to vary. Your daughter isn't going to have the same childhood experiences as your son. Times are different, as well as gender, and many other influences.
Aside from gender, children's unique needs could be based on disabilities and/or exceptionalities. Perhaps your kid is a gifted reader. Adapting parenting to foster an environment for building that skill is essential for them to thrive. Perhaps your kid has special needs or anxiety problems. This may require fostering a calm environment, or avoiding environments that are inherently stressful.
Having Patience in Developmental Transitions
We're all very aware of the terrible toddlers and the moody teens, but we're a little less aware of the pain that they're enduring at the time of those outbursts. Development occurs in spurts, meaning that there are periods of quick changes. This can cause a lot of stress. Just as you think your kid is maturing, they may surprise you with a burst of immaturity. Development is like a roller coaster. There are ups and downs all along the journey.
By making an effort to be extra flexible and understanding in times of stress and spurts of development, we can be a support for our children. It is the psychological changes that occur in development that are the most sneaky. These changes are easily missed, and can easily be the most annoying of the changes. The most important thing to keep in mind within developmental transitions is that they won't last forever.
Changing Roles as a Parent
Just as our child's development is progressing, so is our role as a parent. Different things are required of us at different life stages. A lot of parents see this transition as a loss of control. Shouldn't it feel liberating? You've raised a child. You've helped them acquire independence. You can see their success through their every-day experiences!
If we maintain great relationships with our kids, even after they've left the house, we can still maintain some type of input on their actions. Through the foundation of trust that we've built, along with the evolving roles we've been able to move past, our kids should be able to trust that we are there to support, rather than restrict them.
Parenting is Dynamic
Everything about parenting is dynamic, nothing about it is static. The parent you were yesterday is completely different from the parent that you are today. Your kids require something different of you every single day. It's our responsibility to pay attention to what those needs are.
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